Lost in Apathy
by Ashes2Dust87
Summary: Set right after the battle, AU at the end. Violence, self harm, tiny bit of fluff.


Remember

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Harry Potter

Hermione sat in an empty class room with tears streaming down her face. The battle was won, but where joy should have been, there was only a void. She had long cast a silencing charm on the room, allowing her a privacy that was in dire need. Flashes of Him raced through her mind at a painful pace. Each one tearing her down more. Holding her sides, she felt herself being ripped apart. This is the worse form of torture in her mind. Even Bellatrix could not succeed like His death had done to her.

She didn't know how or why, but some how, some way, she had fallen in love with Severus Snape. Unable to hold in the voice of pain, she screamed in the purest of agony. All her anger, sadness, and regret came out as a reminder of the loss. Standing on shaky legs, she threw a nearby broken desk across the room, slicing her hand deep. The blood mingled with the sweat, dirt, and dried blood, increasing the pain tenfold. She thought she deserved no less. If any thing, she deserved more. She could have tried something, any thing. With every memory, she damaged nearby objects and herself. Once her energy started to fail, she slammed her head into the walls as hard as she could. Finding her voice, she screamed as loud as she could " I REMEMBER EVERYTHING!" Her sanity slipping away, she fell to the floor, laughing. As she closed her eyes, the last memory of him came to the front of her mind. His cold, dead eyes, looking into oblivion.

After awhile, she opened them, to see Him in front of her, looking translucent. Instead of his usual mask, he looked concerned and sad. As he stood there, he remembered seeing her looking at him as he died. He remembered a pull, and when the pull ended, he stood in a dim class room as a young woman screamed and damaged everything in sight, including herself. He hear her scream her declaration. At first he didn't recognize her under the evidence of the battle. The free flowing blood that smeared her hands and the new streaks brought fear to him. This woman must have lost her world to be doing this. He wanted to say something, but he found he didn't know how. All he could do was stand there and stare at her as she fell in defeat. It wasn't till she opened her eyes and stared at him did he realize who she was.

Hermione watched as his face fell into shock at the sight of her. She stood up, trying to not fall in front of him. Faster the images played in front of her, making the room spin around her. Grabbing her sides, she gasped for air. The pain in her chest becoming too much, she tilted her head and let her face fall into a mask with cold eyes He knew too well. Suddenly, a numb feeling overcame her. Pure apathy, a welcoming thing prior to the pain. Taking a look around her, she noticed the damage she had done. Nothing was untouched in her wake.

summoning up every ounce of strength he had, he forced his voice to work. He had to do something. "Hermione! Do not do this to your self! I've been there, it is a long, lonely road. If I could, I would take away your pain." She turned towards him, her emotionless eyes frozen on him. " I loved you. Yet I hate you for what NEVER could be." With that, she slowly walked for the door. Just as she put her hand of the handle, she felt a warm hand grab her arm roughly. The action forcing her to spin around fast, only to find herself in an embrace. The sudden warmth and scents made her body stiffen in shock. Pushing away from the person, she could not allow her self to believe the sight before her. Severus Snape looked solid, alive. Feeling the last thread of her sanity weaken more, tears fell. " Is this a cruel joke? A test in what it takes for will to break? You won. Congratu-fucking-lations! With a few more physical torture sessions I'm sure I can almost match Bellatrix!" Severus, was in utter shock. He had only meant to stop had to do anything to save her from herself. He had no idea how he went from dead to alive. If it wasn't for Hermiones mental breakdown, he would have been joyful.

Doing the only thing he could think of, he grabbed her and kissed her. Pouring his heart and soul into it, praying for her to return. At first she fought him, but the more he put into it, the less she tried to move away and more into him. Once they pulled away, she stared up at him with a flicker of joy in her eyes. Seeing this, he allowed a small smile to show on his face. " Please, don't leave me again." He said while holding her close. After holding each other for what seemed forever, they walked out into the shadows. Together, they would start a new life somewhere.

A/N: Not perfect, but a sudden bit of inspiration came to me ( that and listening to "I remember Every thing" by Five Finger Death Punch at 2:30 am)


End file.
